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(:E cries at...

Hernan's Blog of Hate!

[ Thursday, January 23, 2003 ]


Apology to a true friend.

Ok. It's no secret I'm known (between the people who knows me of course) by so many evil things:

- I have a big mouth
- I am indiscrete (imprudente, hablador, lenguaraz, confiado, incauto... imprudente)
- I cant call the people who crosses my way if it isnt by some { offensive | pejorative } nickname
- I laugh at all of you indiscriminatedly, sometimes for no reason, sometimes without knowing you
- I have the most scary ability to notice everyone's faults (or Achilles' heel)
- ...or the ability to find out just to whom (or what) you look exactly alike
- I dont care for no one but me
- I'm a lonely person (as lonely as it gets) because of that, and that is why my relationships suck.

And girls/women... they never complain about the same thing (I'm like Windows 98 for them):

- Once I was too little and childish (not enough for women wannabes) and another time I was too grown up (cool for mature women).
- Another time I was too depending on my father and another time I was self-sufficient and the loneliest being ever.
- Once I was a metalhead (goth looks with no manners) and then I was from the neo-candy generation ("it's all about style, you know. Tsk.")
- Another time I looked like a total beggar and another (funny time) I was a money wasting machine.
- Once I was no one (intellectually speaking) and then I was unreacheable (intellectually speaking)
- I also played the lame for someone (that girl was hardcore!), and for some other it seemed like I lived too much (HA!).

That takes me to 3 conclusions:

1. I am never enough for no one.
2. There's no sense in trying to change.
3. I have true friends - who pay no attention to that.

I've changed a lot, and many times, those who really know me can tell. Looks, thoughts, friends, hobbies, drinks. The funny thing is I'm dangerously accumulating attitudes, which is good, for now, 'cause some of my friends can't tell the difference from school time until now, but it will take me to either one of two:

1. A monster who can ultimately talk to anyone.
2. ...Or a being with no personality at all.

Heheh. I know some of you dislike me (or dislike some attitudes in me that make you dislike me), and guess what. You'll have to live with it, cause I'm forgetting about it. I'm leaving change to free will. Come what may.

Despite the horrible things I've said about my friends, they stay with me:

- Omar Salazar is a person true to himself (which I'm sometimes not), who fights for his own peace and space, despite his turbulent home environment. Likes dark (and sometimes romantic) music, poetry, magic and mystic tales. I lost the magic about things long ago. (that's why I dont find very interesting LotR and Harry Potter)
- Alexis Ariza is the biggest philanthropist and idealist I've known. He's capable of generating the most interesting ideas from ashes, or doing incredible things from people he barely knows. Also, he likes the beauty of style, much more than the beauty of the form. Or mind. :) Has teached me so much, and is my head psychologist.
- What I admire in Diego Campos, is his ability to ignore his friends' opinions on him, and to ignore friends' needs unless they fit his own. You should only care about you (said someone I dont wanna remember). I sometimes care too much about what people say or want. Also, he's the funniest of all my friends, especially when with Gustavo Palacios.
- Carlos Carvajal.com is always right. Despite his sarcastic and destructive-criticist way to say things, he's right. And he has proven himself intelligent, hard-working and ambicious in a city that doesn't want non of that.
- Richard Tamayo, has never had the resources he may have wanted, but that idea never runs through your head. Another incredible mind, too bad Alexis and him compete so much instead of finally joining efforts, like in the good old times.
- Luis Daniel Pineda never stops surprising me. He's became a computing scientist and now he works in a bank, leading the technological horizon to the Banco Aliadas, and stays a friend even when I look just like when we met at school. The biggest (in size) of my friends, he's a nightmare for any serious sportsman in this country to compete to.
- Edwin Perez is the only friend I made in Los Andes that calls to say hi-how-you-doing. He taught to me all I know about hardware, and I keep him up with java.
- Sergio Garcia, Juan Camilo Latorre and Eduardo Miranda are total geeks and so introverted to let see something. But I like them even when they dont like me that much. I remember Sergio's help with C++, is good when a geek doesn't keep the basics to himself. He tries to do justice to everything, always trying to make the correct decision and say the correct words, just like Juan Camilo, and they dare to make statements. I can talk to Juan Camilo, he doesnt dislike me, as does Eduardo. No secret there. As for him, well... he's Eduardo.

I've been a friend to these guys, or tried. No girls there huh, may be that All you say to a girl may and will be used against you?

Hate bye.

Hernán [12:55 AM] -

the hatemachine,
according to svigle